Now, a shrewd reader may interpret the above commentary as simply as: Landon uses bribery to get Torin to do things. To which I would reply: please don’t judge.
Teaching a child that positive consequences can be the result of good behavior is far from wrong—it’s good parenting, right? So with this justification, I continue my Torinite-teaching methods, gobbling up every proper moment possible for use as a scenario for schooling.
Requester: “Sucker? Have it. Hold it. Want some? Yeah.”
Teacher: “Ok, you can have one if you sit on the potty first.”
Requester: “Up, up, up. <whimper> Up, up, up. <cry> Daddy, up.”
Teacher: “Take a deep breath first. I’ll pick you up when you stop whining.”
Requester: “Check da garden? Wan-noo?”
Teacher: “Finish eating your meat first and then we’ll go check the garden.”
Requester: “Motorbike game? Downstairs. Play da motorbike game?”
Teacher: “Pick up your toys first, then we can go downstairs and play the motorbike game.”
Requester: “No sleepers. Room, nudder room. Nudder room.”
Teacher: “Ok, you can stay up a little longer if you sit on the couch in the other room and read a book first.”
Key word: first. I purposely chuck that word in there somewhere—even when unfitting—and that reliably triggers an agreeable, cooperative response. Dad is sly. How easy it is to teach a simple-minded, (gullible) toddler! Use the right words while giving the necessary promises, and my first Torinite is easily educated (persuaded).
A few days ago, I asked Torin to throw away his toilet paper (the one he was using to “wash the boogas” in his nose). He turned to me, smirked for a moment, angled his head, and commanded, “Freezer-pop first. Wan-noo? Yeah.”
There really aren’t words to describe such a moment. I thought, “Uh… no, no, Torin. You don’t understand… that’s not the proper usage of first. How do I explain this to a 22-month-old?” And then it struck me that he wasn’t misusing first—he was just using it against me! He has learned much more than intended. As previously stated, the basic point was to show this child that rewards come when tasks are completed. The intent was not to teach that rewards can be obtained by withholding good behavior until the award is given—this is different; this would be bribery… Uh, well… er… yeah, bribery. As I said, he has learned much more than intended. So I suppose I couldn’t blame him for bribery since that’s been the spoon-fed mush of choice. Instead, I began to marvel at his ambition and inventiveness:
Daddy’s Approved Reward System:
Reward requested >> task given >> task completed >> reward given
Torin’s Newly-Proposed Reward System:
Task given >> reward requested >> reward given >> task completed
I’m leery of this reward-first and then tackle-the-task mindset. I suppose we’ll play by his rules from time to time. He has been good for his word thus far.
